Showing posts with label Married Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Married Life. Show all posts

Monday, May 27, 2013

Careful--you may become Domesticated...



Since my marriage... I have been spending a lot of time pondering on what my role as a married woman should be.  I see so many women who have either left off the married part or disregarded their individuality that I know I wanted to make sure I confirmed my definition of who I am and learn to stick to it.  I also wanted to make sure I kept my own identity as Sara, child of God along with the title as "Mrs." -- its what I committed to when I married Shawn.  And until recently, I thought this meant NEVER (and i truly mean never) becoming the domesticated woman.  

However, over the last few weeks, things have started to "change" per se, and I have done things like laundry for both of us, cooked dinner frequently (Shawn had to remind me of this last night since we have spent the last week only going out twice and had not even paid for a meal gratefully.)  I have realized it is my nature, without dispute or anger, to want to do things around the house. By definition, i have truly become "helpful"for Shawn.  I know this will not last all the time, or forever, but in my vows I know I committed to at least put Shawn first, love him and walk through life with him. So it got me thinking...

God created woman to be the helper of man.  Not meaning man would do nothing and woman does everything (probably close to the modern picture above...) Just being helpful where I can.  For me, ironically, this meant sharing my love for cooking (i love doing anything in the kitchen, especially baking and love trying new things.) It also means taking care of myself (doing laundry is a necessity as we need clean clothes--and since both of us needed this I didn't feel burdened to do this.) And as I said--last night Shawn mentioned I had cooked everything all day, that he appreicated that, and recommended that I just pick up something on the way home from dropping off my friends.  I thought--WOW! I'm so glad I married this guy (i've been saying this a lot, which is comforting to me since I was extremely nervous of making my life-long commitment to another human [God is easy--God is God.] 

I am called now to be a married woman, to help my husband where he needs and to still keep true to the identity and self that God has created me to be.  I am not called to be any less than this.  I am not called to slave away and fulfill my husband's every wish without considering what I want.  I think this is what kind of picture Genesis was meant to provide.  That the couple together as one support each other, are equally joined who God created them to be, separate individuals joined as one to equally support and love one another in their journeys with God and with each other.  

Genesis 2:7-8;18-25  Then the LORD God formed man of adust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and bman became a living 1being.  8 And the LORD God planted a agarden toward the east, in Eden; and there He placed the man whom He had formed...18-Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; aI will make him a helper 1suitable for him.”  19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the 1sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name.  20 And the man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the 1sky, and to every beast of the field, but for 2Adam there was not found a helper 3suitable for him.  21 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place.  22 And the LORD God 1fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.  23 And the man said,
aThis is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because 1she was taken out of Man.” 
24 For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.  25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

I pray that every married woman can at least strive to be the woman God created them to be.  And may the same be for their spouses who have the same demand from Genesis, from God. Yay for being married! -- I pray that everyone who is married can keep this shout of joy within their hearts year-round. 


Saturday, May 25, 2013

Divorce

Part Two!--here it is!

So I know it is a PURE coincidence that I want to post blog about divorce right after I just got married... It was also shocking to discover the verse I wanted to discuss in this blog was a part of my previous blog on marriage.  God working...who knows? :) But I suddenly got this feeling that something productive needed to be said about the topic. Let me also preface this by saying that I have nothing but love and compassion for my friends who have sadly experienced the horror that can be divorce. I know it is never an easy process and for some not an easy decision given the circumstances.

Still... I think the Bible can provide a lot of insight on his subject. And definitely a lot of insight on what to do if a marriage has strayed.



One of my favorite chapters in Mark talks about divorce and what as Christians we are called to do. Mark 10: 1-12 states the following

At first this verse appears threatening and accusatory. However, look at where Jesus begins. He begins with reality--with truth.  With honesty.  A good quality and philosophy to have while married.  Then he continues with a reference to creation...To Genesis where God creates woman out of man and explains the beautiful connection that is marriage.  Finally, then Jesus points out that divorce is a sin against the one who the person was married to.  (just a reference, not an accusation.) However, if I was listening to Jesus, hearing the words of Genesis... i would be saddened and would feel the heart to the same conclusion that Jesus comes to describing divorce as adultery.  You don't need to even be married to see this... just talk to the 50% of the population who has experienced divorce (Christian or not.) Pain. Separation. Anger. Hurt.... things opposite of being in a good relationship with another and reflectively with God.

So, I just wanted to say I pray that I always keep both these last blogs (on marriage and divorce) always present in my mind.  It is the biblical way of reminding me of my commitment to Shawn.  It is the truth and how the Lord calls us to reflect marriage.  And I pray that the divorce rate goes down... seriously...it does suck.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Marwarge....Marwarge is what Brings us Twogether 2Day!....

In Honor of my upcoming nuptials, I thought I would provide a theology review of the Bible Verses we have looked at using in our wedding.  Here is the collection:

Genesis 2: 18-24
Psalm 100
Song of Solomon 8:6-7
Mark 10:6-9




Genesis 2-- This is probably my most favorite verse about marriage.  Because it IS the verse about marriage.  It describes how it is God who tells the man it is not good to be alone.  And Man is thankful for the woman even though she came out of his side (ouch when you think about it...literally) and he is also thankful.  I think these are some things we can take with us in regards to marriage.  1) nothing is possible without God. I know Jesus said this--but I know from personal experience when I went to God to talk about my relationships, they were a lot better then me trying to control something.  2) it is not going to be easy.  Coming out of a side is something only God was able to do without seriously causing damage to Man and now (after the Fall) it cannot be done without God (re-enforcing #1.)  3) We are to be thankful.  God has given us someone... we should be responding in gratitude.  (FYI Thank you for Shawn God :))
All of these are good things to remember.

Pslam 100--
well, continuing on with thankfulness... Psalm 100 is a psalm thanking God for his love and goodness.  It is a good reminder in marriage to always respond to God in praise and thanksgiving and to be thankful for those He has placed in your midst.  Not that complicated in my mind...

Song of Solomon -- Though there are examples of God's love throughout the Bible, there are some biblical examples of what love is between a man and a woman.  Song of Solomon describes this... and I think for marriage, obviously, its helpful to see a picture of what it means to love the one you are married to.  These emphasis to major components in my mind.... being sealed by love and what love can do.  Love seals together the marriage (all three kinds of love, mostly eros and agape of course)...  then the biblical writer describes WHAT love is... how it can be crazy and wild, not material, everlasting and enduring.  When one marries, obviously you are not going to know your whole life... but what you do commit is to LOVE, which means to endure and to last.  (since i'm writing this after the wedding partly i arguably say LISTEN TO YOUR VOWS.... they are meant to be a declaration to your spouse of your commitment of marriage to them.  I know this sounds contract-like, but you do make a promise before God and your family (at least in my tradition) and therefore it should be taken EXTREMELY seriously...

& Mark 10--- I'm going to leave this verse for the next blog. I know the suspense will kill you but it does reference the Genesis 2 verses above as well as deal with my next topic of discussion.
God-driven I guess, I wanted to mention I started this blog post before the wedding & while waiting to get on the plane to travel home AFTER the wedding the idea for the next blog came to me.  Guess you'll have to come back and check it out!